Beyond the Mirror…
One of the most common things I see in my practice are people - both women and men - reporting poor body image – so, let’s talk about it.
What do we mean when we talk about poor body image?
Poor body image is when we have negative perceptions, feelings, and attitudes about our physical appearance. When we experience poor body image, we usually focus on our perceived flaws. We become hyper critical of our appearance, leaving us feeling dissatisfied, embarrassed or ashamed about the way we look.
Sound familiar?
So, what are some signs of poor body image?
Avoiding getting your picture taken
Avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror OR hating what you see when you catch a glance of yourself in a window, mirror or any other reflective surface
Body checking throughout the day
Constant self-deprecating comments
Not wearing the clothes you want
Body Positivity – unrealistic?
I am all for body positivity. However, for me, and many of my patients, it is wildly unrealistic. I don’t always feel positive about my body. I don’t always feel confident, comfortable and accepting of my body.
That’s where body neutrality / body respect comes in…
Body neutrality is a concept that promotes a balanced and non-judgmental approach towards our bodies. It seeks to shift the focus away from constant evaluation and obsession with physical appearance and encourages us to view our bodies in a more neutral and accepting light.
You don’t have to like your body all of the time BUT you do need to respect it. Think of any other relationship in your life – you might not always see all the good parts of another person but you do respect them as the friend, mother, father, sister, brother, PERSON they are.
Body respect is about not letting your physical body hold you back from living your life.
You won’t like your body all of the time – that’s impossible. You might not ever like your body much at all. But body respect is knowing that your body is ‘good’ and ‘enough’ regardless of what it looks like.
How to show your body respect
1. Make a list of all of the things about yourself that you are proud of that have nothing to do with your body.
Are you funny?
Are you a good listener?
Are you intelligent, insightful, curious?
Do you have an amazing work ethic?
Are you a good friend, sister, brother, mum, dad?
BUT what if I can’t think of anything?
What have you been complimented on recently?
Maybe ask a friend or family member?
2. Write down some positive affirmations and place them around your home and office
My body is worthy of love and respect exactly as it is.
I am grateful for my body and the incredible things it allows me to do.
I release the need to compare my body to others; I am beautiful in my own way.
My body is not defined by societal standards; it is unique and special.
I embrace my flaws and imperfections, for they make me who I am.
I am more than my appearance; my worth is not determined by my looks.
My body is a vessel for my soul, and I treat it with kindness and compassion.
I am deserving of self-care and nourishment, both physically and mentally.
I let go of negative body image thoughts and replace them with love and acceptance.
I surround myself with people who appreciate and support me for who I am, inside and out.
Every day, I grow more comfortable and confident in my own skin.
I celebrate my body's achievements and milestones, big and small.
My body is constantly evolving, and I embrace its journey without judgment.
I choose to focus on the positive aspects of my body and let go of self-criticism.
I radiate beauty from within, and that beauty shines through in everything I do.
3. Buy clothes that fit. Clothes are made to fit you NOT the other way around. Jeans feeling uncomfortable? Treat yourself to a new pair that make you feel good.
4. Find some self-compassion: Ask yourself, “what would I say to my best friend if they were struggling with poor body image?” Would I challenge them? Would I reassure them? Would I provide comfort? What would I tell them?
I imagine you’d have some really kind words to say. You’d be gentle. You’d be realistic. You’d remind them that their worth has nothing to do with the way they look.
5. Remove yourself from people who make you feel yuck about your body. That could be removing yourself from people in your real life OR it could be curating your social media feed to people you relate more to / people who have a body respect frame of mind
6. Ditch the scale. Has anyone ever gotten on the scale and felt good? I doubt it. The scale measures your relationship with gravity, it does not measure your kindness, gentleness, loveliness, loyalty, depth of your relationships.
7. Move your body in a way that feels GOOD. Explore types of exercise that feel good, rather than types of exercise that feel like a chore. Some days I love running, some days I love walking, some days I love feeling strong at pilates, some days I stay in bed. Find what works for you.
8. Call me, maybe? Get support! This is hard. Our relationships with our bodies are difficult and it’s a journey – a journey which can be made easier if you have like-minded people around you. And it’s ok if it’s time to reach out for some professional support.